Saturday, April 17, 2010

3:01pm "I'm the Hero of this story, I don't need to be Saved"

I'm bored. I just woke up like 2 hours ago.
I want to hit up my guy friends, see what's up, but I feel like I might be nagging since I've done that all this past week. I don't want to be that girl so I'll just lay out in the cut and wait to chill with some other people tonight.

This past week has been life altering. and not in the sense that something significant has or is happening, but like -in Degrassi when they would say "Just DEAL". Exactly. I'm figuring out what I want down to the Bone. Whether it's me giving somebody the fucking BOOT, or it's their Boots I'm tryna KNOCK ;) ha. But keep in mind, none of these situations have "Red OR Green" solutions. Make Sense? It's not like you choose 'this' pill and BAM it's laid out for you. Like, everything I'm doing/these decisions I'm making have to be followed through on and DELT with. Infact, I'm still dealing. ha it's been kinda crazy and it's hard for me to put the fucking snow storm in my head into words. But I've got this. and that's the most rewarding thing I'm getting from all of it. I've been Spiteful, Cloud 9, and Contently Terrified within hours all through the day, all through the week -and I don't really have anyone to talk to where they can tell me what I need to hear(no disrespect). I don't drink or get high to fill in laughter. I don't have a Best friend, and that being said hurts as much as swallowing Glass but fuck it, it's true. In Contrary, I'm taking on emotional trials head on and figuring out by myself how to handle them. And that is my Case and Point, Ladies and Gentlemen. What makes this week Life Altering.

"I've never been on my Own before, and I think I need to Feel Scared." -J.S.

Word to your Motherfuckin' Mother.

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