Friday, January 9, 2015

8:46pm: Is this thing on

Oh. Oh my, how I've missed thee. I moved my responsibility to an entirely upgraded blog and since, people still hit me up about this one. I'll tell you what, I've missed this blog more than any of you. Sometimes I wonder how much it's subconsciously affected me. I gonna say a lot of extra shit, then get back to the point of my last sentence at the very end.

I was talking earlier today about how I have a handful of friends who like to keep tabs on me. They like to know what's going on in my life, the good and the bad. But they just want to know. Not actually converse in detail or hear what I have to say about it. I started noticing this in high school with one person in particular, but now it's the absolute norm. Much homage is paid to social media. (Remember towards the end of the Myspace Era, you could change your emotional status/mood via choice of emoji [God forbid Facebook bringing that back]). Social Media is crazy like that; just gettin' to be more personal and "actual"--> i.e. Snapchat. What will the network that shares your fucking heart rate be called. Not to say I'm opposed to snapchat, I thoroughly enjoy it. But occasionally, I feel some type of way when:
-I sit near a classmate I know who naturally feels no need to speak to me
-the person I'm texting ceases to respond after two messages
-I invite someone to grab food or drinks with me and their availability spontaneously combust
-I try to touch bases with closer-yet out of town friends and unveiled, they're motherfucking bubble boy.

All of the above our honest incidents acted out repeatedly by several friends-- perhaps the same list of friends who check my snapchat instantaneously as it's updated. In two seconds, I can show you who/what/when/where/why for lunch, but sometimes I'd much rather tell you. And when I'm the neediest, I'd rather fucking have lunch with said person I'm probably talking to.

Father Time's remarks on Generation Y and the absence of *friendly* human interactions has been reinstated a thousand times... and we treat it/ignore it like those annoying ass service provider warnings on T.V. ..It's apart of the whole social media epidemic. One of those contracted risks we all agreed to when we checked off "Terms and Conditions."

Disregarding each other directly, then showing digital acknowledgment on a social network. That should do it. Crazy how a Retweet or Instagram Like can make up for an unfinished conversation. We have all outdone ourselves simplifying communication with our homies to a few pushed buttons on our touchscreen phones. Shoutouts to the irony in that last sentence and progressively-- this new age form of keeping in touch with one another. As far as Social Media goes, I'm a hypocrite, I fucking love imprisoning/harvesting my insecurities all the while building confidence through a number of likes. No seriously, social media is undoubtedly an instrument of opportunity. And I really do appreciate the updates and connections I'm able to very casually keep.
As long as I can still upkeep them in real life/lyfe too.

Anyways, with all that being said. I wonder the subconscious affect blogging has had on me. More personally between my friends and I, I wonder if I've set myself up for the way they go about me now. My fresh adolescent years of emotions and experiences and significant life changes have -for the most part- been posted publicly for strangers, myself virtually bare. Some of my closest friends now followed this blogspot before we became cool. Even after, they just had to check this site to check on me. Maybe that's why keeping up with me via twitter/insta/snapchat is enough for them now. Maybe I'm forging some terribly justified excuse for them. All I know on my own behalf is that I'm glad to be back blogging. I need this shit. I talk a lot. I can endlessly extend my thoughts on something, like I have with this post, and feel that I've cleared some space in my mind. No fucking idea who's reading this, but I know I'm relatable. I know niggas relate to me. And the threshold of it all: me laying out my thoughts is the best shot I have at being understood they way I want people to understand.

This felt really good to write. If you've read this far, that's much further than I would've gotten.
Thank you and I'm back, y'all.

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